Should I Take French or Spanish? (part 2)
Rounds 5-8
For those who are just joining us, we return to you from the World Languages Federation Championship Match to determine which language you should take: Spanish or French. We have had a thrilling evening full of unexpected twists and turns, leaving everyone wondering: WHICH LANGUAGE SHOULD I TAKE?
If you missed the exciting first part of our bout, you can read the full blow by blow transcript here. In rounds one and two, Spanish took an early lead with its simplicity of vowel and consonant pronunciation. French easily won round 3 with its simpler second person pronoun structure and pressed its advantage using its greater number of cognates to narrowly slide to victory in round 4. This just goes to show, you can know all the stats and you can have your favorites, but there’s just no way to predict what will happen once our contenders get into the ring!
And now back to the fight!
Round 5 – Gender Agreement
Ding!
What’s this? A technique we’ve never seen in the ring before? Both languages are using gender agreement. That’s right folks! French AND Spanish have both resorted to assigning gender to inanimate objects. The fans are booing. They’re throwing trash in the ring. They’re puzzling over the gender of dishwashers, tennis shoes, and bowling balls. At least Spanish uses word endings to gives you a clue as to a word’s gender. In French it’s more or less random, or at least that’s how it looks to our students. This is bad, folks. The ref is screaming and blowing his whistle. The fighters are oozing pure rage.
Ding! There’s the bell. It’s a tough call, but I’m going to unofficially give this round to Spanish.
Round 6 – the Verb “To Like”
Ding!
The opponents race into the ring, hungry to battle over the very common verb ‘to like’. First in, French leads with a left hook. “J’aime mon chien”. This is very clean communication, folks. Subject, conjugated verb, direct object. Wham. Spanish lurches, then claps back with a complicated series of punches: “A mi me gusta mi perro”. Spanish has gotten a little too fancy with those indirect object pronouns and non-intuitive structure. French blocks the punch and moves into close range. It feints, then sinks a powerful uppercut with a plural direct object: “J’aime les chiens”. The punch lands. Did you see that folks? This is textbook. The verb wasn’t impacted at all. This is the kind of classical technique you love to see in the ring. Students will naturally absorb this phrasing. Spanish reels but it’s not giving up yet. It hops back into action. Look at that footwork. What’s this? “A mi me gustan los perros” The crowd groans. No question about it, Spanish learners are gonna struggle with the “indirect object – verb – subject” structure of this foundational phrase. This is not the way you win a fight. French presses its advantage with a punishing series of volleys, and Spanish is on the ropes!
Ding!
And mercifully, there’s the bell. After a slow start to this bout, French sails to easy victory in the Round 6, This is still anyone’s fight!
Round 7 - To Be
Ding!
Spanish dances into the ring, eager to regain its footing in Round 7. French is bobbing and weaving, and Spanish goes in with a precision sequence. Ser! Estar! Spanish can’t land a punch with French’s fancy footwork. French steps back into a powerful looping overhand. Être! Listen to the crowd gasp! Spanish is on the mat in the first knockdown of the match! The Spanish strategy of using two verbs for “to be” is more cumbersome than French’s single verb, folks. Spanish learners really have to work on that distinction. The roar from the crowd is deafening as the ref starts the count. 1...2… It’s trying to get up, folks. 3...4… and Spanish is up. It’s up. Spanish staggers toward French. Spanish isn’t going down without a fight. Spanish throws a wild punch and French steps aside. Spanish tumbles into the ropes.
Ding!
It’s not even close. Spanish is looking rough as French wins round 7!
Round 8 – Imperatives
Ding!
Spanish is looking a little shaky after that pounding in Round 7. How will our contenders handle the imperative verb forms? Only committed language fans will appreciate the subtle footwork we’re seeing in the ring. French throws a quick one-two combination: parle, parlez! It was almost too quick to see! In spoken language you wouldn’t even notice a distinction from the indicative, just one little spelling change. Impressive conjugation indeed. Spanish responds: habla, hable, hablad, hablen. French slips the punches and emerges unscathed. The crowd gasps. That complicated second person structure from round 3 is coming back to bite Spanish in this round. French raises its arms in total disrespect to its opponent. The crowd is on its feet as French struts around the ring.
Look out, here comes Spanish with a second round of volleys – Is it? Yes, folks, it’s a negative imperative! No hables! No hable! No habléis! No hablen! As any Spanish student working to master the imperative can attest, this reeks of desperation. French easily sidesteps the wild punches, avoiding its opponent’s blows. Spanish stumbles. It flails, and it’s down folks! Spanish is on the mats. It’s trying to get up, as French dances around the ring. Spanish is on its knees. Wait – wait – Spanish is up folks. This match isn’t over yet.
Ding!
And at the end of Round 8, Spanish’s complicated imperative structure has given French a command-ing lead.
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Now… stay tuned for part 3 of this blog post for the exciting conclusion of our championship bout!
